A Coyote gets back on the horse.

Long time no blog!

Long time no much of anything, really. This has been a stressful year so far.

Right after my last blog, I embarked on 3 solid months of working 2 jobs. One was supposed to be a part time side gig, but quickly turned into near-full time hours, and the only days off I had in May and June were by request because of things I had to do, like an out of town wedding. Not restful by any means. Plus, requests for time off in the first place were usually denied and always a struggle.

I’m also still dealing with the weird health issue I think I’ve mentioned before, though it is improving. It’s basically a digestive issue, that is incredibly uncomfortable when it flares up and it makes it difficult to, uh, sit for extended periods of time. (And it’s probably not what you think.)

That’s all you want to know, and probably more. But I have a point, I swear.

Ultimately the main issue is my own anxiety about it. My anxiety is mostly health-based, so when there is actually something ‘off’, my brain just takes it and runs with it.

One of those places it ran to is, travel and shows. Sitting for things like long car rides causes flare-ups; travelling can disrupt the dietary changes I’ve had to make to control it. Concerts, too, are extended periods of sitting and dancing in your seat (will people ever learn that you can stand at a rock concert?! Siiiiiiigh), and I had a long stretch where I thought I’d never be able to go to shows again.

But in June, I did. !!!

Chicago has long been one of Mr. Coyote’s favourite bands, and they played Casino Rama in mid-June. Unfortunately it was in the middle of a week, at one of the busiest times of year for my full-time job, and I didn’t think I could get time off from either place. I also couldn’t really afford the trip, even with the 2 jobs. Mainly, though, I was terrified of the travel, the sitting, everything. So I heard about it, mentioned it, and quickly dismissed it as an impossibility.

Then Mr. Coyote’s friend M visited one evening. Mr. Coyote and M have known each other since they were kids, though M lives out of town now.

On his way to his cottage, M stayed with us overnight to get some errands done in town. We were talking about music, as it’s a passion for all of us, and the conversation turned to the time Mr. Coyote and I saw Chicago here in our town in 2014.

“Oh, you must have loved that!” M said to Mr. Coyote. “They’ve always been one of your faves.”

Mr. Coyote agreed, mentioned something about their upcoming show at Rama, mentioned something about how we weren’t going to be able to make it but he’d love to see them again one day.

Something in me snapped. Anxiety be damned.

That was a Thursday. By the Saturday evening, I had requested time off from both jobs (main job said yes right away; other job said no, so I said I’d either give shifts away or who knows what but I would not be coming in), looked up the hotel rate, and decided which seats we wanted to buy. Mr. Coyote had long since asked for the time off, back when I first mentioned it, because he really wanted to go. He never really shows that he’s excited about things, and I felt terrible for almost letting it pass us by. All that was left was to book the hotel, then buy the tickets.

I forgot. Til Sunday afternoon on my lunch break.

I looked at Rama’s website and saw that it said “Call for availability”, which usually means sold out unless you’re a high roller.

I panicked.

I called.

I got the very last hotel room!!!

Things to do with shows have often had a way of working themselves out for me. This was no different. That very same week, I found out I got a massive promotion at work, back to my event management job I held when I started at this employer in 2017. I loved that position, and this time, it’s permanent.

It came with a $5000 raise.

I am back to making what I need, what all my bills are based on. Since July, I’ve been back to working just one job, too.

I started the new position 3 days before the Chicago show, which was now fully paid for.

We drove the 3 hours, and I was full of anxiety, and I was in pain. But somehow, I managed to fend off a flare-up the entire trip.

The show was amazing. Seriously, if you like their music, go see them if you can. There is an incredible amount of talent in that band.

We also took the obligatory concert selfie, of course!

Their drummer is Walfredo Reyes Jr, who incidentally, played with Lindsey Buckingham for a very long time. He is an absolute sweetheart, insanely talented, and seems so happy to have been slotted permanently into the band. We had a ton of fun watching him, and cheering him on!

Also, shows are my Casino good luck charm, so we didn’t come home empty handed, either.

Casino Rama is my happy place, the site of so many fun show and vacation memories, my Coyote birthplace, and this trip was no different. We even visited with our old friend, the lobby bear.

All in all, am I completely a Coyote reborn? No. I’m still dealing with anxiety; I’m still adjusting to what will probably be, at this point, a permanent issue I need to learn to work around.

But that trip gave me so. much. hope.

I thought I’d lost that part of myself, honestly. That probably seems overdramatic, and maybe it is, but it’s how I felt.

But I haven’t. I did it. We went. We had a fantastic time. And everything turned out okay.

I feel more like myself than I have in a long time, and a ton of that is thanks to this trip.

I’ve never been consistent on here, but I’m back, and I have ideas and things to say. I had no capacity for creative thought working 70 hours a week, but that is coming back now.

The Coyote is back on the horse. And next up, in just under a month? A trip to a Walden Woods event in Boston, on September 6.

That’s another post though. I’ve rambled long enough!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s