That line, from the Eagles’ “Fast Company”, has been echoing in my mind a lot lately.
I’ve had a weird health issue/injury for awhile now (nothing dire, just uncomfortable) and the inactivity caused by that, in addition to the freezing cold weather and feet of snow, has contributed to a lovely depression these last few months. And as anyone who’s struggled with mental illness knows, when you’re already down, it’s easy to go even lower, let other things get to you that you may normally be able to brush off.
I started 2019 thinking, I need to snap out of this. I need to be myself again. Part of the reason for starting this blog in 2017 was to start doing things I love again, mainly writing but also featuring photography and other random hobbies and projects. I haven’t really followed through on that, at least not with any consistency, and I can name a thousand reasons as to why. Job changes, pay cut stress, family emergencies, illness…
But at the end of the day, all of that is what my life has been for 3 years. At some point, I’m thinking, I’m going to have to accept that this stressful life is still mine, and I should try to be myself in it no matter what.
So I’m trying. I’m going to remove the pressure I put on myself to blog on a consistent schedule because honestly, the more I think God, I haven’t written in way too long, I really have to, the less I’m likely to actually do it. It becomes an unnecessary stressor. I’m going to try and write about life things like mental health, photography, little projects I’m working on, rather than just the tours and travels, even though I don’t know that anyone wants to read a random coyote’s diary.
And one of the things I have really wanted to do for awhile now is a few blogs around taking back things that I was once proud of, but that others have made me feel less-than for, and I’ve kind of shied away from because of it.
I’m tired of feeling that way. I’m tired of being made to feel that way. And I want to stop hiding where I come from, who I am.
Considering I want to use my blog more, too, I think this is a good all around solution. So, there will be interesting things coming. Hopefully they’ll be interesting to other people, not just me…!
Onward and upward, 2019!